AwesomeFrillyPhobia

'Give him another banana,' the bank teller whispered loudly. 'He keeps trying to grab at the money in my jacket.' 'He's a girl actually,' said another man in a trench coat and fedora. 'And I've kinda got my hands full here. Orang-utans are quite heavy, you know.' 'Well, where's Jim got to then?' said the first man 'He's bringing the car around. He should be here in a few – OWW,' the man in the fedora broke off suddenly. 'What's wrong?' 'She keeps kicking me. Can you grab her legs? No wait! Can you get the bananas out of my bag?' Bubbles the orang-utan, latterly a resident of the city zoo, seemed oblivious to the pandemonium around

The cemetery had been there for over two hundred years. The butler walking through its gates hadn't existed for quite that long but he was still quite advanced in years. He was eighty years old and had been working as a butler for sixty of those years. He was tired but not too tired for what he now had to do. The cemetery was a very eerie place. The branches of the trees swayed in the wind, throwing ghostly shadows on the crumbling tombstones. Still the butler had a job to do that night and no amount of creepiness could put him off his task. The dolphin that was lurking in the cemetery also had a job to do. This butler had ruined his scheme

The evening of June twenty-sixth last year had been normal in most respects, albeit very cold. I'm not exactly sure why I decided to go into that little pub. I'd already had a drink that night. Perhaps it was the charming neon sign that caught my attention. More likely I was tempted by the chance to get out of the cold night for a few moments. Whatever the reason, I went in and sat on a stool at the bar. The place was mostly untenanted, not that I minded. I ordered a pint from a bad-tempered bartender. I hadn't been sitting down ten minutes before the man walked into the establishment. I gaped at this stranger quite rudely at first. He was a